Hospice

Ash Wednesday is the night Mom went into the hospital and had emergency surgery, a few days ago Good Friday the doctor told us she would not heal. I asked if hospice was appropiate and his answer-- we've crossed the line where we're preventing her death instead of prolonging her life. We consulted Hospice and today Easter Sunday will be her first day under full Hospice Care. Once papers were signed yesterday it took til 8:30 last night to physically get the move done. She is very much at peace with this decision; though it was a difficult one for the family to come together on. I take comfort in knowing her decision is the right decision; though I say it with a heavy heart.

I hope each and everyone of you spend this special day with loved ones.

Sunday....I just don't what to think, Day #40

Not much new from Mom's bedside there at the hospital. Hemaglobin still being watched carefully to assertain how much bleeding is going on, and whether or not things are recovering in that area. She was 11 something after the last 2 packed cells given about 5 days ago, she dropped to 10, which while to low seems to be leveling out. She's coughing up less blood. The chest tube drained quite a bit out of her lungs for the first day and has slowed down since then. The color is less bloody, so that would appear to be a good sign.........on the other hand, they say her lungs aren't clear and were hoping to get more fluid out. Respiratory therapy treatments continue around the clock every 4 hours. Her vitals.......well, we wish we knew. One minute they're bad, then they get a little better for a few minutes, then go bad again. Initially yesterday am, she looked very bad and was in lots of pain. Later in the day, her pain level seemed better and she was more responsive and better color.

Each day as we walk down the hall to enter her room, we wonder how that day will go. It's sure been a long hard hospital stay. I've been pretty impressed with the level of caring nurses she's had over this long haul. Some better than others, human nature; but many who truly care and help not only her, but us family members as well.

Continued thanks for your prayers and support.

Good bye ICU, better??

Been a few days since I posted an update. I have mixed and confused feelings about whether or not Mom is doing better. She's left ICU, which means they think she's doing better; but we're up and down with that feeling. She's miserable, she's in pain, they've continued to do lots of test and she is well beyond discouraged. Monday late in the day (dinner time) they moved her from ICU to step down. The move alone caused her both emotional and physicial difficulties. Tubes get jostled during the rolling around process which causes discomfort. They began giving her food, but she didn't tolerate it well. She felt nauseated, full and nothing tasted good. She's not yet gotten her voice back since the respirator was removed. Getting help takes longer, larger unit, more patients per each nurse etc. Plus when they answer her call light over the intercalm she's not able to speak up enough to let them know what her needs are. Occupational and Physical Therapy came in and did a wee bit with her which cause her heart rate to get real high, her oxygen level to drop (thus oxygen put back on), and caused her more pain and tired her out. Medicated and a nap were in order. No sooner did she fall asleep til they came in and removed both chest tubes..............she said the pain was excruciating. She looked very bad after that and had a tough night, followed by a tough day of more nausea, vomitting, x-rays etc.

Obstruction? They're wondering, as she's full even when they aren't feeding her. After another round of x-rays (too many to count at this point), they moved her yet again to another floor. They discussed putting other tubes in last night and she was most upset about that. However, when I left around 10 last night I was told no tubes, and they were through poking and prodding...or at least for the night.

I don't know what to expect for today.

I've spent 3 days making phone calls and visiting rehab centers in and around my work schedule; trying to prepare for when she'll be released (as I think they do things too hurried and beds in good rehab centers aren't that easy to come by. I've toured 4 and talked to about 8, and have her on a list for 2.

I'm very wordy this am, sorry sometimes it's good --sorta of release for me to type about it.

HUGS to one and all for the prayers, please keep'em coming.

Today day 18, in ICU

Well by the title you can tell Mom didn't get moved out of ICU yesterday. It was another tough day with another feeling of going backward. Such a let down after you think it's finally going the direction it needs to. She was pretty uncomfortable yesterday with having several x-rays, a new central line being put in (arterial line); and an old one removed. Problem is Mom is a very very hard person to stick, draw blood, start IV etc. They have to really work, often get multiple people, and she ends up bruised head to toe. This is frustrating to her, painful and makes her anxious which makes her vitals jump and be less stable than they should.

The person who removed the central line didn't come prepared with what she needed to complete the job and left the room part way through to obtain supplies, somehow doing that the water used in conjunction with oxygen started pouring in through the nasal cannula. She thought she was drowning, as did my Dad who ran for help. That incident made both of their blood pressures sky rocket. Emotionally she was on edge all day, as was he. Her bed was soaked, she had to moved alot to get everything cleaned up which caused her to be in more pain and wore her out.

On the positive side, she had several bites of soup, juice, and jello yesterday. Her nutrition is still really coming from the tube feeding; but....they're introducting clear liquids for the first time. I think thats pretty exciting.

It sounds like if they need her bed in ICU today, she may be moved out; as they consider her stable. Being stable is obvioiusly a good thing; though she's apprehensive about going to a different part of the hospital. In step down areas and regular areas of the hospital you obviously have less nurses taking care of patients and thats a bit scarey.

Hoping today is a better day. I'm going to the hospital before heading to work. I do feel I need to try and get back to work again.

Again many thanks to all for the prayers, and well wishes.

Day 17 in ICU begins

Mom is still in ICU. She is doing better. Vitals are better, they've reduced her Oxygen level as she's able to do better now on her own. They removed the respirator and she's doing well with that. She still can't talk beyond a whisper. I don't know how long it will take to get her voice back since the respirator was in that length of time. But...the exciting thing is, she's doing far better than she was when they removed it the first time and had to put it back in.

She still has 2 chest tubes, but they are now draining on their own via gravity rather than being hooked up to suction which is another mini step forward.

She's still being fed by way of a feeding tube, though she has been allowed a few ice chips and a pop sicle or two which has been a real treat for her. She's more alert and though still in need of pain meds, it seems she needs them a little less.

We're very grateful to have her still with us and for all the wonderful support and prayers you've all offered.

She might....still a little iffy get moved from ICU today to what they call a step down unit. She still has much ahead of her and will still need lots of support and prayers in the days and months ahead; but for the first time I feel like she's truly turned the corner and is out of the woods.

HUGS and blessings to you all

2 Chest Tubes, ICU...Day 15

We got another surprise yesterday in ICU. Got there wanting a report on the callopsed lung and expected to hear update regarded the possible removal of the respirator. Instead we got news they wanted to insert a second chest tube for the other side of the lung. Apparently, even though puncturing her lung was a mistake and not what anyone wants the upside is that things were draining well. They felt draining the other side with chest tube rather than another needle extraction was needed to remove as much fluid as possible to increase her ability to breath when respirator was removed and to improve her vitals. So, another painful day for Mom. They pulled off quite a bit of fluid during the procedure and even more after by way of the tube. The got her situated, medicated again after the procedure and I think thats the most restfull I've seen her in this long 2 weeks. We all left, as visiting hours were over. Hubby and I headed back when visiting began again at 9 pm to tuck her in. I like to stay until I know she's sleeping and as comfortable as possible. Last night is the first time she was asleep when we got there and remained so. We checked on her 3 times before heading back home.

With any luck at all the next post will be that she's improving, and things are looking up. I thank you again for your support and prayers.

Knitted 2 pair of booties yesterday during our waiting time. Will toss some more yarn in my bag today as I prepare to head back to the hospital.

**Favor to ask
I posted a mini new post on my travel blog (it's nice to post something unrelated to the hospital, something I already have pictures edited for etc.), please stop in look around, post a comment or two. I'd really like to improve traffic on that page. Thanks!

A Good Day in The ICU

Things are looking brighter for us in The ICU. My brothers, Dad and I had a consultation today with The ICU Doctor, got lots of our questions answered and received a pretty decent report. Test results have come back and things are looking better than they have for the last 5 days. She's still in ICU, she still has the respirator on; but....toes and fingers crossed we think we're seeing some improvement and we're told they definately do.

Thanks to all for the good wishes, prayers and the positive vibs......all are truly appreciated.

Just a mini update here. I am planning to go to work tomorrow for the first time since this all began. I'll have cell on naturally and go to the hospital after work; but ...it will be good to get back to some normal activity.

Day 11 in the ICU

Hoping to get a few things done here on the computer before we head back to the hospital for day 11 or 12 (think I might have lost track of which day it is). Yesterday was a more peaceful day. They elected not to drain the other side of the lung due to the possible complications of it. They may still; but are holding off. Likewise they did not yet do the eletrocard, they did do another chest x-ray. We know she has fluid still around the lungs and some around the heart. She appeared to be a little better yesterday with regard to vital signs; but no real results yet of all the cultures done on the fluid removed from the lung the previous day.

The ICU is such a sad place, so many critical patients and sad families. We've gotten to be an odd group there. We don't really know each others names, but we all ask each other each day how the loved ones are doing. Some are doing better, some not, it seems such an up and down yoyo for so many of us. Many of us stood a good part of the day, as the waiting room was so very crowded with families comforting each other. Some folks chat, some play cards, some read, some watch TV, I knit and or crochet as we share the day. We take turns visiting when it's permitted.

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. I do hope to come visiting.

Sandy

I would love the diversion of you all visiting and commenting on my travel blog, it helps to take my mind to other place.

Respirator

Two days ago, they put the respirator make in Mom. She couldn't breath and was wearing herself out trying. She's had more blood work, x-rays and several other procedures. The last couple of days have gone backward, considerably so, rather than forward. Yesterday they put in another Arterial Line, removed 700 cc of fluid from one side of her lung. We were there about 14 hours yesterday and left last night feeling very low. The plan for today is to remove more fluid from the opposite side of her lung. They now question if she has fluid around her heart as well. It's almost visiting hours, and so I need to get ready. A brief call tells us she has improved; specifics though are not known.

Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers. My apologies for not being able to visit, or keep very current here. I'm behind on The Bridge (perhaps I'll get to do that later). I did manage to update Traveling Suitcase, I needed a diversion. Please visit, comment, rate. I look forward to your visits.

Fingers and Toes Crossed

Well since the posting of Worst Week (previous post), I'm almost afraid to say shhhhh things might be getting better. Everytime I think things look better, or look like we're moving forward...we go back 4 steps.

Mom got released to the 2nd Rehab Facility from the Hospital on Sunday. The day everyone was sick, Dad, my husband me sorta, my sister-in-law; my nephew stayed with Dad for the night so at least we felt better that nothing further would happen to him.

Hubby had the lightess case of the 3 of us. ONly part of the day and just felt tired for another day, I had it slightly over 12 hours and felt dizzy and light headed for 3 days, daddy lost 7 pounds..he was somewhere in between the 2 of us with severity.

I check on everything Sunday am, and head back home to regroup and recoup, and fill everyone in over the phone. Dad calls early next morning....pre 8 am to say he's ready to go to the hospital. He wakes up my older brother after waking me up. We know...my brother and I that the release is gonna take HOURS, and try to explain; but Dad thinks he needs and wants to be there first thing. So...off we go. We stand around for about 4 hours, finally everything is official, ambulance comes and we head to The Rehab Center. She has a nice private room, roomey, nice and efficient staff, the room is yellow---her favorite color and we're all pretty up when we see everything....except her. She says she doesn't like it, bed's too hard, the food isn't good, and on and on and on. Can't think of any positive thing she said. We all tried really really hard to get her to see this was best. Daddy spent the night with her, slept in a reclincer in her room. He was misserable, uncombfortable and his back was bothersome next day.

Fast forward today is Tuesday and it's almost over. She must have realized this was really the best for her, for daddy, and for us and the only way she was going to recover. Her attitude was much improved the next day when she called, and then I visited and ran several errands for them. Had one rest day-get acquainted with the facilty day, then Monday the hard work of physical therapy began. Tuesday, today...harder and more painful still...but she's beginning (the first time in about 1 month), beginning to make headway. Now, daddy's being a bit of pill. I don't want to get old. Emotionally, this is awful for both of them. They are, and we kids are, realizing they aren't and never will be again independant. It's official now, my older brother said. Our parents are old and are roles are reversed. It's really quite sad, frustrating, difficult.

Had my 3rd chiropracter apt today, and hoping I'm gonna be able to maintain tomorrow at work. I work a very fast past job, always on my feet and if they weren't short staffed right now...really wouldn't be going back tomorrow. Told them I would do my best, but was not 100%, and was most definately slower than normal. My job is pretty physical, so we'll see how it goes.

Sent off a large stack of Thanksgiving Cards for Shareacard today, waiting on address to send 6 pr. of booties and 4 hats (to be picture...maybe tomorrow) for the 10 preemie project through Homespun Helpers. Worked a bit tonight on the Candy Corn Ghan (haven't touched it in months).

I've not had time to come and visit any of you, to see what you're all up to. Hope all are doing well, and I will try to soon. Many many thanks for your understanding, your good wishes and vibs and prayers....all much needed and very much appreciated.

Hugs
Sandy

Sunday Stuff, Prevent Brain Freeze, Knee Replacement

These 3 items are being sent for Prevent Brain Freeze (a school project), through Homespun Helpers. The two tone green scarf is crocheted, the blue scarf is knitted, and the headscarf is knitted. been making items it seems mostly suited to females of late (though the blue scarf was made for a guy), I need to check for some guy colors and yarn types in my stash.

Been at the hospital alot the last 5 days, Mom had a knee replacement. She was to have been released to home or a rehab center a couple of days ago, but her recovery has hit some snags. She's having more pain then anticipated, dealing with low oxygen, and they've done some extra test. I do hope things improve soon. She's getting a bit down, though we did manage to surprise her and pick her up with an unexempted visit from my daughter. She flew in Friday night and was able to visit with her yesterday and flew back to Baltimore first thing this am. A very quick visit, but a worthwhile one. Mom was thrilled and really surprised to see her.

Working on a pair of blue baby booties. Then...might start a new ghan for a friend, though I still have more WIP I wanted to complete before starting something new. I have made good headway and reduced the number of WIP...but, my friend is anxious...so, don't know. Perhaps a bit of this, and a bit of that.