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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Selecting a Gravestone, Emotional Day

The Yucca's are starting to bloom. This year 5 are opening up. It seems to change each year which ones develop blossoms. I love these plants. You can almost see them open. Not quite like time lapse photography, but close. These plants got their starts in my parents yard, and so naturally is another connection to Mom.

Yesterday Daddy and I selected the gravestone. Such mixed emotions. On one had it was good to have things settled, taken care off...one more item off the to do list. On the other doing so not only brought back the loss of losing Mom (2 months ago), but the reality that we would lose Daddy too. Daddy is 83 and seems quite healthy and active. But, their plan has always been to be buried together in a double Urn. And so yesterday he and I selected the stone and secured it's placement in a family plot. The two of them will be surrounded by other family members. His parents, his grandparents, and his father's sister's and their husbands. A nice large family plot. I like that everyone is there together. People don't do that much these days. Families live far apart and when someone passes they're buried, but not much thought or planning for those that might follow.........thus families aren't together. This particular cemetery is beautiful. It's high on a hill overlooking Chillicothe, Ohio. I've always thought it the prettiest cemetery I've ever been in. AND, for those of you who know me well; you know how many cemeteries I've been in, how many gravestones I've photographed etc, so........that statement is significant. The lady at the monument company was nice, helpful and used humor to help us through the ordeal. She is 76 and has been doing this a very long time. She told us she hopped to work until she was 80.

These bright cheerful orange Tiger Lillies are in full bloom right now and are gorgeous. They're on the side of the garage. I wished they bloomed longer. They grow easily, often you see them along railroads. These starts also came from Mommy and Daddy's yard. So many of my flowers did, it's like my yard is a memorial to them both.

These pinkish-purplish lillies don't spread as easily as other varieties and are more fragile; have a heavenly scent. These are some of the very few I didn't get from my folks yard, I actually purchased these a few years back. Just wanted to share their beauty with you all.

These beautiful flowers make me smile and feel better inside. It was an emotional day.

Spend time with your parents, make yourself memories. The memories can make you smile on a cloudy day.

(These off and on posts here about My Mother, are like journal writing for me)


  1. Whenever I read about someone losing a beloved parent and the pain of the loss they endure, I wish I could make things better by saying "Savor the happy memories". My mom is now 89 and there are no happy memories....none. I visited her planned burial site and it was quite sad. She is being buried with her second husband, no relatives nearby, a very depressing cemetary that is not cared for. I wish I had not seen it.

    Continue to love your mother though she has passed. I'm sure she is watching over you and your dad.

  2. I just read Joansie's comment. I'm so glad that you have lovely memories, Sandy.

    Joansie, I understand and sympathize with your situation. It's not easy. My guess is you've created some lovely memories from your own generous spirit and also through the lives you have touched.

  3. Anonymous4:57 PM

    The relationship you and your Dad have seems quite special, and no doubt that helps both of you. I'm glad you're able to do these things together. Hang in there and take one day at a time. Grieving isn't easy and it's not fast.

    Joansie, I'm sorry to read of your plight.

  4. I really like Yucca Plants. My dad has them in the yard. sorry about your Mom. It is hard i know. Dad was here for Fathers Day and I just Love having him around. About the Meme, I had one up on my post. I couldn't handle seeing my Moms picture up so I deleted it. I Do not usually like to do them because you have to tag others to keep it going. I thought the tenth photo one who be good, however I just could not continue with it. you can go to Lola's Diner to see the tag.(the link is on my blog roll) thanks for coming to the post though and for all your wonderful tips.:-)

  5. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that emotion again. I'm sure it wasn't easy. I know that I will face this with my mother and my husband's parents someday in the future, so I sympathize.

    The flowers are all lovely. I haven't seen yuccas since I left California in 1989, so that brought back some memories.

  6. A very touching tribute indeed. When I first read Chillicothe, I thought of the town a hundred and some miles north of us here in Missouri. Then I was reminded of the Yucca plants beginning to bloom. So my thoughts shifted to Arizona or California, but when I went to look up Chillicothe in those states, there was none to be found. So, Ohio or Illinois?

    Of course, it doesn't matter, and with you-all being out and about so much, you might not know what state you are in. Well, at least that is what happened to me a few times while I was still trucking.

    Anyway, thanks for calling my attention to your site here. I'll be back.

  7. A lovely tribute to your mother. Having flowers that came from her garden is very special. I am passing flowers onto my son, now that he owns a house. I hope he feels about me when my time comes the way you expressed yourself here.

    Thank you for visiting my blog, via Kacie.

  8. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. Somehow talking about living with pain pales in comparison to the loss you've experienced recently. My thoughts are with you, always.

  9. Love your lillies!! Lillies were one of my mother's favorites.

    Yes, picking out a gravestone is so final. Since Mom and Dad wanted to be buried together, Dad had his name and birthdate engraved along with my mother's when we got her stone. Very weird to see it there. That was 9 years ago and Dad is still going fairly strong at age 92 1/2 :)

    It's good to have little reminders of your mother. I'm finding that there is never a day that goes by that I don't think of mine. Even when I look in the mirror...I see her looking back at me (and I look nothing like my mother).

    {{{Big hug for you}}}

  10. I actually would want to be buried beside my loved ones too. Just the thought of being with them even after life is a good feeling for me. I know this is hard for you, but you have to accept that death is the harsh reality of life. :(


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