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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Parents Failed Her!

Did you read my previous post, if not please scroll back.

A book is suppose to make  you think, stick with you awhile right?  Well, that book surely did.  I find myself thinking about it off and on too much.  I find my emotions continue to be mixed.  Anger, sadness, and more.

I mentioned I couldn't accept her (her being the authors) perspective that her parents weren't to blame, that she didn't blame them....they simply didn't know.

  • Maybe she's not being honest with herself, maybe it's easier to think that way, maybe she's a better Christian and has forgiven them?  But, to say they didn't know?
  • Parents have 1 primary job and that is to take care of, to keep their children safe.  They most certainly failed to do that big time.  Why?  Too interested in climbing the corporate ladder to think what was right for their children.  Does anyone really think moving every 2 years, pulling kids out of their neighborhoods, making them start over in school, making them try to fit in and make friends every 2 years is a good idea??
  1. They didn't have many close friends, couldn't.
  2. They didn't really know neighbors, couldn't
  3. They didn't really know teachers well, couldn't
Likewise, the parents didn't know their children, their children's aquaintenances or their teacher...why, they couldn't and or choice not to.  They didn't participate in school functions, didn't attend school activities their children participated in.  If they had, they might have conversed with other adults to realize something wasn't right.

Your daughter, your young 15 year old daughter creeps out of the house at all hours of the night and early morning for a period of 2 years and you don't hear it?  Seriously, you don't hear her on the steps once she 's left her room, you don't hear the door opening or it closing when she leaves?  You don't hear the door opening or closing when she comes back?  The door opens and closes 4 times on each occurrence and this happens over 2 years and you fail to hear it every single time?  Wait, lets back up a little....prior to her creeping down the steps, the phone rings, so you don't  hear the phone, or the door? night after night for 2 years? So ok, maybe that night you're really tired and you don't hear it,  but neither you or your spouse EVER hear it?  WOW!  I can not accept that.

But, there's more.  You don't hear the phone because you don't like to answer the phone and talk to any of your children's friends, so to keep your distance you buy them personal phones for their bedrooms.  Perfect solution to staying un-involved in your kids lives.  Even had nothing horrific happened, this would be a parent fail.

In my dating years, back in the dark ages; our house was left un-locked and when we returned from our dates we locked it up.  I can guarantee you my parents heard each and every-time I came home, knew what time it was and whom I had been with.  We had a specific time to be home, often they would ask as we passed by their bedroom door...did you remember to lock up?  Yes, they heard us, heard me and my two parents every time we left the house.

There's more to consider though.  I grew up in a nice small house; her parents were climbing the corporate ladder.  She lived in a large house so hearing might have been a bit harder.  Wouldn't that just mean you had to work at hearing a little harder?  Her parents "entertained" a lot, apparently that was part of the work of climbing, so often weren't without the influence of adult beverages.  This was eluded to when the police brought her home..........so perhaps under the influence keeps you from hearing on some nights......but still night after night for two years two adults don't hear their children.  Don't check on their children?  Unacceptable.

Wait, so the police brought her home, so they did know she was "out"?  That's another whole rant, please pop back in to find out about the police and their involvement in this tragic story of human trafficking.

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