Camping, Creativty, and Courage

Mom and Dad, the day after the wedding of my youngest nephew, summer before last. This photo taken in my older brothers and SIL's back yard where we all just chilled after the wedding, the rehearsal dinner. We were celebrating hubby and my Anniversary (35), younger brother's Mike and his wife Dee's Anniversary and both of their birthdays, AND the end of chemo for young Janet...many of you will remember my niece Janet and her battle with bone cancer.

Remember the good times, which aside from my nature; Mom said in some of her last moments.

Camping:
Mike, Mom and Dad and I were camping locally on an Island that we got to from our small fishing boat. Took several trips to get the 4 of us, and our camping equipment there. The Island was soft and sandy and we were the ONLY people on it. Soooooooo cool. (older brother Chuck was working and couldn't go). Mike and Dad fished and Mom and I set up camp, made dinner and did our thing. Sleeping on the soft sand in our tent was comfy.....

Mom and Dad were up having their morning coffee at the picnic table, Mike and I racked out. Next up me. Sorta. As I started out of the tent (no doubt to make my way to the woods to go potty), bees surrounded me. Quickly I zipped the tent shut and yelled at Mike to wake up. Mom and I decided, with Mikes help the bees were waking up. The bees that lived in the sand, that were asleep when we pitched our tent. So, I jumped back in the tent to help Mike hit the floor of the tent to stun or better yet kill those bees. Mom and Dad were at the ready to drop the tent poles the minute we escape. Naturally, we're all moving fast; and laughing.

Whew, made it. Bees stunned, escape made, tent downed super fast and moved quickly off the nests.

Some how, we all managed not to get stung.

Creativity:
I know anyone who knows me is immediately thinking, knitting and crocheting. Sure, Mom taught me to knit when I was very young and that will always be with me. She didn't teach me to crochet; but......being creative is more than that. Being creative with how you cook, how you stretch the family budget to get the most for the dollar. You know, look in the fridge...not much there. Take a look in the cupboards...even less and still make a meal so the family you love will have something to eat. And really not just something; but a balanced meal. Being creative means taking clothing and furniture and making something worthwhile from it.

The dining room table still in use at Mom and Dad's house is a table Mom rescued from the curbside when we were young. We lived in half a duplex, a rented duplex. The older woman next door had died and her place was being emptied. She was the owner. A table carried from her basement in parts (legs and top separate, with burn holes we were told had been used by the guys to play poker) held possibilities for my Mother. She got help to carry the table to our basement. She spent months working on it. Cleaning it, sanding it, filling the holes with wood putty, staining it, and using a nail made what looked like a knot hole in a couple of larger holes. She and Dad put the table together. It's Oak, it's beautiful. The family ate more meals there then I can count. I don't remember how many leaves there are; but a huge number. As the family grew with us kids getting married; we could still all sit around this table at Thanksgiving.
Fine china, linen table cloth and the family around that table is a memory I will never forget.

Courage:
The courage Mom showed at the hospital is something to marvel at. She never cried, not when they put in 3 different chest tubes, not when she wasn't able to speak due to a respirator being inserted a 2nd time, not when she watched them hang the 16th unit of blood, or when they had to get ultrasound to help place her 4th arterial line because her veins were so bad. In her long 7 week hospital stay, she never ate a meal. She had a feeding tube and went weeks without water except for a swab in her mouth, or an occasional pop cycle. When she had so much fluid in her system that it oozed out her pores she showed courage. When she had the opposite problem and had so many tubes/hole that she drank a swallow of juice and it came out her side, she showed courage. When she made the decision that it was time to stop all the medical intervention; she showed courage. Not a tear did she shed.

Just some of the things I will always remember that start with the letter C.

Love you Mom

Comfort Care, Do Not Resuscitate

After my last post, thngs continued downward. Her breathing was labored, shallow, vitals all over the place in both directions high and low. Blood sugars irratic, pain level increasing, flow from the chest tube very minimal to where they decided to remove it. Feeling that it might help her be more comfortable. The decision made that she was very depressed and in lots of pain and the talk of taking back to ICU only highten that depression. So, family discussion and DNR order written. The doctor felt if the tube went in, it would never come out and thats not what anyone wants. Once the decision was made and she was able to discuss her wishes, see family members she became more calm and that seemed to help her breathing. Changes in her meds with the inclusion of a mood elevator also helped; not only her-- but family as she looked better. The tough part is is it an elusion? Her vitals are better, her breathing was better, they took out the G tube also. Her hemaglobin continued to drop farther and got down to 8 again; 2 more units of packed cells were given. This now makes 12 or 14 units of packed cells she's been given; so clearly the bleeding is still an issue. After the cells are given she has a little more color, a little more energy and her level actually got to 12 one day, the next day it dropped to 11.5, wonder what it will be today. If the count levels out or maintains, they may feel the bleeding is coming under control; but we've been many times before. Confusion and pain increase when hemaglobin drops.

Yesterday, they decided to see if she could tolerate any food. This is the 3rd attempt since surgery 7 wks ago. She had small amounts of hot tea at all 3 meals yesterday with some very thin diluted brooth, a little Italian Icy. She didn't throw up, or have more pain as she has in the past; but it's too soon to tell if her stomach is going to process it this time.

Her partially calapsed lung has worsened in the past 2 days, and yesterday 2 Interns/Residents were talking about chest tubes again. I told them she's already had 3, and I didn't think she'd let them put another one in. They wrote orders for an occlusion dressing at the site of the last chest tube to hopefully prevent air from the outside from entering, feeling that might help the situation. They'll do another chest x-ray today. The other possible reason for the calapsed lung would be a hold in the lung; but that isn't showing up on x-ray.

She's so very tired of this all, depressed. I don't think I can count the number tests, tubes, holes etc. her poor body's been through.

Thanks again to all for your continued support both here via comments, emails etc. I truly appreciate each and every hug, good vib, and prayer.